people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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