All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
