As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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