it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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