I want to stick my p in your. b.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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