Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
