I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
If its not for food we ain't going out.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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