We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You took a bar mat shot.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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