Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...