the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions