well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here