the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
