Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(757): View more from Virginia

I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.

(734): View more from Michigan

I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.

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(757): I am not having having sex with guys at the moment. (734): I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue. http://tfl.nu/51cx

Replies (2) Good night (2130) Bad night (591)
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(970): View more from Colorado

Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.

(970): View more from Colorado

Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.

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(970): Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin. (970): Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right. http://tfl.nu/uxeh

Replies (18) Good night (1109) Bad night (1673)
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(212): View more from New York

I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.

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(212): I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home. http://tfl.nu/lyh0

Replies (7) Good night (2371) Bad night (619)
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(630): View more from Illinois

That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.

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(630): That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it. http://tfl.nu/khhu

Replies (12) Good night (647) Bad night (3184)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!

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(832): Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation! http://tfl.nu/fp0i

Replies (13) Good night (4615) Bad night (543)
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(301): View more from Maryland

all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.

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(301): all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol. http://tfl.nu/ssjg

Replies (11) Good night (3819) Bad night (833)
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(757): View more from Virginia

I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.

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(757): I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK. http://tfl.nu/aspp

Replies (27) Good night (6304) Bad night (894)
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(818): View more from California

it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.

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(818): it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny. http://tfl.nu/aua9

Replies (13) Good night (5216) Bad night (1158)
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(804): View more from Virginia

she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.

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(804): she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener. http://tfl.nu/h6je

Replies (12) Good night (2124) Bad night (2691)
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(323): View more from California

Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?

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(323): Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back? http://tfl.nu/2ror

Replies (2) Good night (2194) Bad night (766)
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(850): View more from Florida

Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.

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(850): Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either. http://tfl.nu/w5pa

Replies (7) Good night (945) Bad night (2203)
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(807): View more from Ontario

If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.

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(807): If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend. http://tfl.nu/60cd

Replies (13) Good night (2357) Bad night (761)
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(850): View more from Florida

It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.

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(850): It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order. http://tfl.nu/7w8i

Replies (4) Good night (2105) Bad night (548)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.

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(843): You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in. http://tfl.nu/9ftp

Replies (8) Good night (1635) Bad night (448)
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(212): View more from New York

Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!

(1-212): View more from New York

That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.

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(212): Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?! (1-212): That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready. http://tfl.nu/5w6l

Replies (0) Good night (510) Bad night (171)

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