so I'm never txting u again after today...
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment