I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
