Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
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