Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize