I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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