Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize