SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize