He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Randomize
