How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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