If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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