is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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