he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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