So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
