Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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