woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
