I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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