I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
i believe in u and ur pee
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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