Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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