sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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