suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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