You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
