WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
