it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
