Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
