I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Boobs speak an international language.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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