Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
It's shark week go big or go home
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
