The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
