It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you traded sex for a burrito?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Houston, we have a squirter
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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