living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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