you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
