Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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