Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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