I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
