belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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