one two three fourrrrnication!
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I think my moral compass just broke
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
