Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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