Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
