I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
