i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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