just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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