Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize