yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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