we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
