Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
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