I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
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I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
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Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.