Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
