There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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