Kiss
Puke
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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