Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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