i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
