Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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