Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize