Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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