I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
